latidacaitlin

Month

February 2012

34 posts

dumble dee dumble die.

Dear Caitlin,

You did it. You are making it through this thing entitled LIFE… are you doing it well? maybe, but could you be doing it better? Definitely. Everyone falls sometimes, and that is what you have done…more times than most these past few months but you ARE learning. Out of all the negatives remember that… no matter what life throws at you, you are learning and you are still hanging on. So what did we learn? We learned that mom may not ALWAYS be right, but on the big stuff? She is. So now that she has told you you may come back and get help from her, take that step. Take the step to start budgeting and do things right, financially. She is right…you have done nothing but fly by the seem of your broken blue jeans and it is time that you stop doing that. You can never accomplish any of your dreams…broke… because you thought you could eat out every night. You also learned that no matter what you really are okay, and the good kind of okay. You are never alone, and you now realize this. So stop basing your life off of people. You do not NEED anyone, and no matter how badly you WANT someone, there is never a necessity. Never. And always remember those in need, in real need, always be grateful for what you DO have, and keep trekking, because even though you can and WILL do better, doing anything at all…well, that counts too.

With much love, and ready for the future that you will surely succeed at,

yourself.

Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 201222,224 notes

January 2012

33 posts

More like her.

date a complex girl not a simple girl.

simple girls, they are beautiful, they don’t argue much, they don’t deal with issues much. things might not be hard, and a few good laughs will be here and there. she won’t need you, she won’t be crazy. she’s simple. she likes hair. she likes nails. she likes shopping. she likes clothes. she likes to always dress nice. she is simple.

a complex girl? they are the crazy ones because while growing up they preferred reading over going to the mall to check out guys. they are the ones who go to college and open up their mouths during class sometimes because they have something smart to say, sometimes to just get a rise out of someone else in the class. complex girls are crazy…but they’ll love you passionately. they’ll fight for you against all odds. they love you so hard that it drives them to insanity. you may think that you can’t handle them, but once you have one, and you see how hard they can love, you grow addicted to it. they are the ones that do argue, but afterwards it was quite well worth it. They are the ones that question everything, over think to the point of exhaustion, but in the end… they make you smile more times than just a few. They take you for a spin and surprise you in other ways. the complex ones are the ones that can talk about deeper issues than what press on nails they bought that day. They don’t care really what they wear as long as it is comfortable, and they most likely don’t care about their hair either. complex girls are writers, or maybe they are the girls who want to be lawyers…doctors… they are the crafty girls. the photographers, the painters… the dreamers. the ones that care, deeply.They are the ones with a personality that makes you wonder how in the hell God made a girl like that… the very witty and clever girls that leave you speechless.

date a complex girl, because when she loves? she loves hard. she gives you a run for your money. she makes things complicated, but she’s worth it in the end. if you want to live mediocre then date a simple girl… but if you want a roller coaster that leaves you craving more by the end.

date a complex girl.

thanks to the complex girls that I have known in my life.

whitney hunt, sarah bohlman, chelsea sparkes, jordan zigler, sarahbeth duran, jessica boring, haley green, kayla swafford, mom.


Jan 30, 20122 notes
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 30, 2012

and it was nice. wasn’t just the mere fact that we had our road trip…decided to experiment and ended up in the front seat tangled up… it was nice, but it was nice because it was an entire day of just you and I, and nothing that involved any kind of drama. This past week has been indescribable, and it was worth it. yeah, maybe it is just a week and there are a lot more to go, but I really feel like this is the step we needed.

I owe all of you an apology. an apology for my distasteful words, my actions, but most importantly I owe you an apology for caring too damn much. For allowing such idiocy to envelop my mind and destroy my attitude. I was in church Sunday morning and I was sitting there thinking when did this happen? I used to not care, I used to love everyone, never had an ill feeling toward anyone, and yet now? I find myself rolling my eyes more times than I can even count. I read something and get pissed, I think of something and get pissed, I hear you talk and how ignorant you are and I get pissed. 

and I wondered…why am I like that now….and I came to the realization that I have never surrounded myself with this much ignorance before… as badly as that sounds…it is true… but that just means that before, it was easy. It was easy to love everyone and to get along with everyone…now I am actually being challenged.

well, I have decided to accept the challenge and let go of the crap. No more will I use my words to try and bring you down. No more will I even think of any of you, because I am happy and what is the point? None of my comments will make a difference, I know and you know, and that is all there is to know.

I am the problem. I am the problem because I allow you to be a problem.

I have to believe that I can have a hold on my own mind, I must believe this, because I preach it. I need to start taking my advice.

I can say that this is going to be difficult but I can also say that I am taking the steps necessary to make this work.

once again, I am sorry, truly. I am sorry because you aren’t worth the emotional stress of my mind… you aren’t worth even a portion of thought from my mind.

there is more out there to life than insignificant people.

I need to stamp this into my mind.

Jan 30, 2012
all around that dang maulberry

bush…that monkey, bless his heart he never had a chance, don’t be the weasel that thinks this time will be different…go back to nonexistent, close the door…don’t knock, please don’t knock…DON’T EVER KNOCK…it down, because the game was over then, and it will stay over now, chasing memories will make you sick…to your stomach, please forget…let go of reality, because reality is. that is it, it just is. climb mountains and mountains and drink out of that fountain, don’t splash it in my face! DON’T DO IT THIS TIME!

POP

the weasel died.

please, don’t do it this time.

Jan 27, 2012
“And you’ll sit beside me, and we’ll look, not at visions, but at realities.”
— Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence”
—
Jan 25, 2012

I just had this huge urge to have a blog explosion and release all of my frustrations… then I heard Mike speak, I see Loren watching Friends, Charlie is lying in my lap asleep just like old times, Robby is working and that look in his eye has returned. I am going tomorrow to try and make a difference in these people’s lives as we try to bring out all the homeless people in order to help get funds for them….I can’t have an explosion. I can’t say something witty and bitchy that can, ultimately, destroy the very essence of your inner self, confidence, pride, what have you. I just lost the desire to do it, because it’s pointless, truly. People’s lives speak for themselves.

That is really all I have to say,

your life speaks for itself…your friends… your actions… “you’re” words…

when you constantly live in a world where everything is fake, where everyone that surrounds you is fake, you become fake, also.

Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012
I can still feel the wind in my face.

The most disturbing thing is when people think they can just come in and spill with their opinion. Remember, when someone talks to you about a certain situation, there are always two sides of the story, and unless the person really wants REAL advice, they aren’t going to give both sides, I can assure you.

The reason why drama is a constant thing is because everyone thinks that literally everything is their business and it is so frustrating.

Okay so she cheated on him….but he never made her feel beautiful…he never touched her… he never complimented her… he never even looked at her….

that change anything?

Okay so she went a little bat crazy…. but he was never fully honest and there were a lot of hidden things, IF, you feel me.

with that being said, just because one person isn’t trying to make the other person look bad doesn’t make that person NOT guilty.

but honestly, what does it really even matter who is guilty and who is not? For that ALSO is really none of your business or anyone else’s.

I feel sorry for you because you had a bunch of unintelligent people who don’t like me that were filling your head with just plain bullshit. Just little girls and little boys. I had mature ADULTS without a real opinion on either side who were talking to me, making me see both sides, which is why I kept cool…so I understand why you overreacted, honestly.

I was just mad… I want to fix things…I want you…

but of course, no one really cares about that…that isn’t fun…

thank GOD I am constantly surrounded by MC college students, because I swear the mind capacity of some of these people, bless their hearts, are too much ignorance for myself.

that felt good.

mashup time.

Jan 24, 2012
and you can follow

me on twitter…I ain’t effin witcha…

latidacaitlin.

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